Drug Addictions
A Slippery Slope
“Drug addiction" is not an instantaneous state of affairs. It is usually a gradual transition into a deeper and deeper hole of dependence and behavior changes. It most often starts with a simple, innocent prescription drug exposure, or a poor social/recreational decision influenced by peers. But the bottom-line is this: almost any chemical that alters your state of mind has an insidious way of becoming addictive. It's important to address concerns and suspicions early. Don't wait for absolute 'proof' of addiction to help your child or loved one.
Check out the different types of problems - signs, and sollutions in the reference tabs on the left margin of this page.. ..
Here is a good course of action:
Act Now: Begin to more closely monitor your loved one’s activities. Keep track of changes in behavior, appearance and friends. If appropriate, find out who is on your loved one’s Internet buddy list and what sites are bookmarked as favorites.
Don't Make Excuses: It's natural for parents to be tempted to make excuses for their child or loved one’s behavior - but this type of enabling actually makes it harder for a young person to become responsible and self reliant.
Have the Talk: (Or - Let Them Know You Know) It's not easy to confront someone with your concerns, even when it is your own child. It is much harder to simply watch and worry when you believe your family member is following a self destructive path. Have the talk when you are calm and have plenty of time. Pick a time when your loved one could not possibly have become high in the last 12 hours - even if it means waiting a day.
Remember that you are not the first parent to deal with these issues, and you don't have to do it alone. Discuss the situation with someone you trust. Take the time to take care of yourself while you are in the midst of this situation.
Here is a great script for having your first confrontation with a loved one about the problem:
The 'See It - Say It' Six Step Process
Information adapted from Central CAPT's “Walking The Talk” manual- (800)782-1878.
After looking over the signs and symptoms of meth use, do you think it is time to have "The Talk" with your child or loved one? Take a deep breath. This might be one of the hardest things you'll have to do as a parent or friend.
Be prepared. Practice what you want to say, and how you want to say it. Brace yourself for any type of reaction from your child or loved one - from denial to anger to confrontation. Children will sometimes try to throw their parents' history at them to deflect attention from their own behavior. Your child may ask questions about what you did when you were young. If so, it is best to be honest. If you try to deceive your child and the truth comes out later, you will lose credibility. If you drank underage, or used drugs in the past, connect your use to negative consequences: "I drank alcohol and smoked marijuana because I was bored and wanted to take some risks. But I soon found out I couldn't control the risks. I lost the trust of my parents and my friends. There are better ways of challenging yourself than doing drugs."
*****The following process may help you initiate and complete a conversation with your teen if you are concerned about Meth use or other substance abuse.
"I Care" - Don't just jump in to the conversation with a list of complaints or accusations. Let your teen know your love and concern is still uppermost in your mind. This can help to diffuse defensive feelings and responses.
"I See" - Be specific about the things you have observed that cause you concern. Try to remain calm, unemotional and factually honest in talking about your child’s behavior. Explain what changes you've seen in your child’s behavior, appearance or attitude that is causing your concern. Focus on the concerns and why they worry you.
"I Feel" - Be honest about how your child's behavior makes you feel. This will remove the sense of blame, helping you sound less judgmental. You don't need to make assumptions about the cause of the behavior, or diagnose anything. You just need to be concerned. This is no easy task; your feelings may range from anger to guilt that you have "failed" because your kid is using drugs. This isn't true, and by staying involved you can help your child or loved one stop using and make positive choices.
LISTEN -This may be the hardest step for some parents. It requires you to be quiet and respectfully listen to what your child or loved one has to say. Allow plenty of time for your child to share feelings, problems and explanations. Be prepared for a variety of responses, including silence, tears, the disclosure of a significant problem, anger or even hostility.
"I Want" - Be ready to be specific about what changes you want to see in your child’s behavior. First, acknowledge what your child has said and shared. Then, explain what action steps you want to see taken. Suggest, don't demand, what you want to see happen. If possible, allow your child or loved one to come up with a workable solution. ****Remember, often referral for professional help is the most caring thing you can do.
"I Will" - Be ready to share what you will do to help your child or loved one change and reach the new goals. Will this include providing moral support? Arranging a meeting with someone who can help? More listening? Make it clear that you are willing to keep talking, and if your child chooses to say nothing right now, the door is open for future discussion. When discussing these next steps, you can include setting new rules and consequences that are reasonable and enforceable. Be firm but loving with your tone and try not to get hooked into an argument.